Hi Guys,

I've been writing 69-word, theme-based stories for the digital lifestyle magazine, The Brown Scooter, every month.

Read off and let me know what you think/feel :)


An Ideal Metalhead's Wedding...

1. The invitation card is printed on black paper with red ink and incorporates loads of swords, guitars, devil horns, demons and skulls. As soon as the card is opened, “For whom the bell tolls” starts to play.

2. On the D-day, there is a “Battle of the Bands” before the marriage ceremony.

3. The hall is all-black with seated guests wearing Metallica, Slayer and Iron Maiden tees.

4. A frizzly-haired dude is shredding guitar at the entrance of the hall.

5. Amidst dense smoke, the groom enters with the ‘Enter sandman’ playing in the background. His full-sleeve Megadeth tee and torn jeans ensemble is completed by a chained purse, couple of skull rings, a bandana, a few tattooes and a spiked wristband.

6. The bride enters in a Kittie Tee and jeans and is pretty much as accessorized as the groom is. Add a nose ring and a neck band to the mix.

7. The Priest Rob Halford enters on a Harley, insists he be referred to as ‘Angel of Death’ and growls songs performed by all the major bands’ right from Black Sabbath to Sepultura to Anthrax , Machinehead, Slipknot and Hatebreed.

8. The groom and bride’s families exchange t-shirts, cds, dvds and vinyl records.

9. After the pheras, the couple ties blood vials to each other, vow to listen to metal and go to all the concerts together – ‘til POP do us part! Amen!

10. The gifts include guitars, amps, synthesizers, cymbals and bass pedals.

11. Every second guest (irrespective of sex) has awfully long hair and does the ‘devil horns’ for every alternate photo.

12. Couple of big bands ‘headline’ the post-wedding celebrations.

13. Chicken, beer and weed are the only items on the menu.

14. The honeymoon is scheduled to coincide with the next Ozzfest gig.

15. The baraatis join in a moshpit before the lunch is served. (this one suggested by a friend)