Hi Guys,

I've been writing 69-word, theme-based stories for the digital lifestyle magazine, The Brown Scooter, every month.

Read off and let me know what you think/feel :)


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India’s New Rocket Fails To Lift Off

Via Agra, Sept 2025: India’s new satellite - Planetary Explorer: New Indian Shuttle (P.E.N.I.S) failed to take off today, sparking a huge debate about whether spending huge amounts of taxpayer’s money on space programs is justified or not. Counted amongst India’s most prestigious space programs till date, the Space Exploratory Xperience or S.E.X (of which P.E.N.I.S is an integral part) has been in the works for close to a decade now.

Commissioned by the then Chairman of ISRO Homo Bhabha, this mission was estimated to be worth 30 Million paisa to be utilized over a period of 3 years. 9 years and 30.0005 Million paisa later, the project is in its final stages…. of shutting down. After much deliberation, an ISRO veteran scientist, Mr.Dontaskme DickShit (DD) volunteered for an interview, exclusively for ‘Crucifire’s Lair’ readers. Here’s a transcript –


ME – Sir, tell me something about Project S.E.X

DD – You see this project was initiated by the late Homo Bhabha who was apparently cock-sure that there was intelligent life out there in the universe. Have you seen ‘Koi Mil Gaya’?

ME – The Hrithik movie? Yes sir.

DD – Ahh, Homo Bhabha was like Hrithik’s dad in the movie. He used to sit around all day hitting random keys on the CASIO keyboard expecting aliens to contact him from outer space. I am sure those aliens (IF they existed) would have committed suicide listening to the sonic bullcrap he used to churn out from his keyboard.

ME – Err sir, aren’t you being a little harsh on Mr.Bhabha? After all he is the one who spearheaded most of India’s prominent space programs.

DD – Hah, space program, my ass! I would prefer Savita BHABHI to that BHABHA any day.

ME – Okay, let’s not deviate from the topic, so tell me about S.E.X

DD – In my opinion, sex is a spiritual communion of two souls. It’s the physical manifestation of love between a man and a woman. Foreplay is a very important part of sex, my son. Sex happens when a man inserts his p….

ME – *interrupts DD* Project S.E.X sir, not sex.

DD – Ohh, sorry about that! After Chandrayaan, Project S.E.X was supposed to be India’s next big space program. It’s almost a decade now and the project still hasn’t taken off. We are unable to have good S.E.X as our P.E.N.I.S keeps going down every single time we try to launch it.

ME – So, what exactly seems to be the problem?

DD – We have tried launching our satellite more than 50 times but it never stays on course. The rocket carrying the satellite always deviates from its trajectory and ends up crashing in the nearby ocean. This is what we people in the space industry call ‘Projectile Dysfunction’. If a rocket cannot penetrate the outer space, how the hell can we have good S.E.X? It is generally believed we can have good S.E.X with a rocket positioned at “less than 45 degree” but our P.E.N.I.S always leaves its predetermined route and ends up crashing in an ocean.

ME – What now?

DD – Do you have any idea how frustrated we scientists are? It’s been so long since we’ve had a good S.E.X and this P.E.N.I.S is of no use. We tried to stimulate political interest in this project but they are too apathetic. No extra funds, they say. If we don’t have money or a good satellite (like P.E.N.I.S) great S.E.X is close to impossible. They should shut down this project and lay off all of us so that we can atleast have good sex at home *winks*

ME - Yes, well okay… good luck with that!


(Couple of my readers found my references to Dr. Homi Bhabha and ISRO disrespectful.. Guys and gals, I respect Dr. Homi Bhabha and ISRO and all their contributions to the Indian Space Industry, references to them are just in good humour and I mean no disrespect.. Sorry, if it offended anyone I never meant to..)




Our Entry for the Indian Currency Symbol Competition

Created by me and my bro





THEME – SPIRITUAL INDIA / DIVINE INDIA


We have approached this project of designing the Indian currency symbol aiming to make it a throwback to our cultural heritage. We believe it is our rich heritage that has seeded the vibrant culture and traditions that have come to characterize our great country. Hence, the focus of our design has been the spiritual and historical past of India. An attempt was made to create a design that is generic to a multitude of religions.

CONCEPT

We believe that any quest for a perfect Indian symbol needs to be undertaken with an introspective visit to our roots. With a reflective eye on detail, we have designed this Indian currency symbol, which tries to incorporate the finer points of our glorious spiritual & cultural traditions. The three most important symbols of Indian history - AUM, SWASTIKA and BINDU, all have been used to add virtue to our own design. With our symbol, we seek to celebrate the magnificent experience that is India.

Note: We have tried to keep the symbol simple enough to be drawn with limited number of line strokes.

DESCRIPTION OF SYMBOL (graphical representations provided)

A brief description of our symbol is as follows:

· A stylized “I” forms the basic framework of the picture (refer Fig 1.). It stands for the first letter of INDIA.

· The “I” has been modified to introduce the concept of AUM (refer Fig 4.), the most ancient and purest of all Indian symbols. AUM as a symbol transcends a range of religions found across India. It is an exemplification of the secular nature of our country as well as the spiritual ocean of knowledge that has originated here. The meanings for the word are endless. Introducing it into the currency symbol will be the first step towards giving the economy a positive push upwards.

· The BINDU (refer Fig 5.), without which the AUM is incomplete, is regarded as the beginning and the end of all that matters. It will serve as a constant reminder for an objective outlook during uncertain times.

· The BINDU can also be interpreted as “ZERO”; the greatest contribution that India has made to the world of Mathematics without which, economy as we know it would not even be possible.

· Another interpretation of the circle that we aim to capture is that of the ASHOKA CHAKRA. It stands for the ever changing nature of time and how we Indians have acknowledged it and adapted it into our lives. It stands testimony to the growth we have achieved since independence.

· The AUM and the “I” have been combined in a way so as to represent the SWASTIKA (refer Fig 6.). SWASTIKA is another one of India’s ancient symbols. The SWASTIKA is considered to be auspicious and stands for good luck and charm. The positive vibes ingrained in this symbol will set the stage for a productive start.

· We have also made an attempt to design the symbol to resemble the first consonant “Ka” in Hindi - India’s national language.

· Finally, if one was to observe closely, one can also find all the alphabets ”n” & ”r” set inconspicuously in the entire arrangement (This refers to INR. Refer Fig 2 & 3).


We sincerely feel that our design ably captures all the important facets of India in all its glory and we are certain that every Indian will take to this symbol with pride in their hearts and a sense of contentment and delight about where we come from, what we are and what we will be.


NOTE : To draw the symbol by hand, all that needs to be done is to draw a J, strike a wave through it and end with the DOT. It's easy!!!



Guys, PLEASE DO COMMENT,...

Woo Hoo.. Yippeee

Hi All,

For everyone who came here expecting a new post, I am sorry to disappoint u. The past couple of weeks have been AWESOME for me. I won two online contests and made a handful of new buddies, one of them a really close one. My wins...

Contest 1 - Comic Captioning Contest - http://www.flyyoufools.com/caption-contest-results/ (I think I win a copy of the comic and some chocolates)

Contest 2 - Fastrackarmy Description Contest -
http://media.fastrack.in/announcements/fastrack-army-in-140-characters-winners.html (I will be getting a Fastrack Dog-Tag watch!)


Due to 'technical' problems, its been long time since I've posted anything. Now that net is working at my place, will try to post in the coming weeks...

CruciFire