Hi Guys,

I've been writing 69-word, theme-based stories for the digital lifestyle magazine, The Brown Scooter, every month.

Read off and let me know what you think/feel :)


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An Ideal Metalhead's Wedding...

1. The invitation card is printed on black paper with red ink and incorporates loads of swords, guitars, devil horns, demons and skulls. As soon as the card is opened, “For whom the bell tolls” starts to play.

2. On the D-day, there is a “Battle of the Bands” before the marriage ceremony.

3. The hall is all-black with seated guests wearing Metallica, Slayer and Iron Maiden tees.

4. A frizzly-haired dude is shredding guitar at the entrance of the hall.

5. Amidst dense smoke, the groom enters with the ‘Enter sandman’ playing in the background. His full-sleeve Megadeth tee and torn jeans ensemble is completed by a chained purse, couple of skull rings, a bandana, a few tattooes and a spiked wristband.

6. The bride enters in a Kittie Tee and jeans and is pretty much as accessorized as the groom is. Add a nose ring and a neck band to the mix.

7. The Priest Rob Halford enters on a Harley, insists he be referred to as ‘Angel of Death’ and growls songs performed by all the major bands’ right from Black Sabbath to Sepultura to Anthrax , Machinehead, Slipknot and Hatebreed.

8. The groom and bride’s families exchange t-shirts, cds, dvds and vinyl records.

9. After the pheras, the couple ties blood vials to each other, vow to listen to metal and go to all the concerts together – ‘til POP do us part! Amen!

10. The gifts include guitars, amps, synthesizers, cymbals and bass pedals.

11. Every second guest (irrespective of sex) has awfully long hair and does the ‘devil horns’ for every alternate photo.

12. Couple of big bands ‘headline’ the post-wedding celebrations.

13. Chicken, beer and weed are the only items on the menu.

14. The honeymoon is scheduled to coincide with the next Ozzfest gig.

15. The baraatis join in a moshpit before the lunch is served. (this one suggested by a friend)

19 comments:

ramith nair said...

Damn... i m banging my head aftr readin this...lol..

awesome...n thx for d verbatim..mere metal head mein kuch naye terms add ho gaye :)

CruciFire said...

@ Ramy - rams u?! thats a pleasant surprise... and thnx for the comments...

Directionless Wanderer said...

awesome post boss .... I was in splits rolling on the floor!! The sheer simplicity of the subject matter (a Wedding) combined with the one thing that u absolutely worship in the world(Heavy Metal) is a heady concoction! This marriage is sure made in hell presided over by Satan himself! :P

Amazing post! Once again, I ruefully lament to myself : "O brother! Why the f*** didn't I have this brainwave?!" :P :D

CruciFire said...

@ Rajiv - thanx a million dude.. rather than have more comments I wud prefer to have couple of comments from ppl like u who appreciate the creativity and the thought process that went into it... keep checking back!!

pricelessjunk said...

The honeymoon is scheduled to coincide with the next Ozzfest gig.
Lol.


"The gifts include guitars, amps, synthesizers, cymbals and bass pedals."
Hahaha !! How I wish such weddings eally happened !

CruciFire said...

@ PJ - haha yeah me too... do keep checking back...

tremlanquer said...

hahaha! amazin' if you ever plan to marry like that, make sure you invite me =)!!

just dropped by
cheers

tremlanquer
www.xanga.com/tremlanquer

CruciFire said...

@ tremlanquer - Yeah will surely do... keep checking back...

lappet! said...

haha total timepass dude....had a similar idea during my sister's wedding 3 years back...!!!

CruciFire said...

@ lappet -oh okay, then its good that u didnt write it... varna thoda toh repetition ho jaata... keep checking back...

jitu said...

Whats the scene when u get a baby ......................

CruciFire said...

@jitu - hehe arre shaadi toh ho hi rahi hai, itna jaldi bacche ke baare mein kaise soche??

pringle paul said...

no red meat in the menu? beef!

CruciFire said...

@PP - Nopes..later maybe..

Spacegirl said...

till POP do us apart! rotfl!!! this is amazing!

CruciFire said...

@spacegirl - thnx babes

ramith nair said...

You marriage has proved you are not an ideal metal head... ;-)

Anonymous said...

^thank you

JANANI said...

We have to one again marry this way at our 25th anniversary. *GROWLS* "I LOVE YOU"