Hi Guys,

I've been writing 69-word, theme-based stories for the digital lifestyle magazine, The Brown Scooter, every month.

Read off and let me know what you think/feel :)


My Contribution To U-Know-Wot

(Please DO NOT proceed if you are not comfortable with non-veg jokes/references. Am writing all of this in a half-asleep mode, so please xcuse the crude language. )

1. Kishen Dhody is a small-time tailor residing in Masjid. He also owns a small garment manufacturing unit in Karjat. His garment unit uses imported machinery (like Bapuji's Charkha) to churn out REALLY good quality clothes (last heard it was operating @ 9.5 sigma i.e 0.000000.95 defects out of a million). He is into shirts, trousers and men's innerwear.

2. Bhairavi Taraporewale is a self-employed housewife. She works for SARA-Ne-Nahi-LEE and specialises in women's undergarments (12:35 and all). Kareena kapoor, priyanka chopra, shipa shetty, kim sharma, celina jaitley, madhuri dixit, zeenat aman, tina ambani, pt usha - none of them are her clients. Her um..er... undergarments are a craze among college girls. Her creations are so famous that she herself wears them most of the time.

3. Krshna De - A rubber artist. Creates art with rubber and latex. Used to work for CEAT but lost his job when he ended up shaping some tires with dots and others with flavours. Side business - condom manufacturing under the brand name - IMAIU (I am already inside you!) Also thinking of diversifying into flavoured and dotted erasers by acquiring CAMEL-IN!!

4. Maaki Jai - Animal lover. Loves to ride horses... has around 100 of them, all on lease! Also, a very good trainer of animals in general. Teaches them about dressing right, doing various tricks and even singing. One of his most famous students goes by the name of Himesh... But his first love still remain horses - 2 of them - Sheetal and Rancho.

5. Yedi Tai - A Maharashtrian mill worker. Hobbies include Mehendi tattooing. Works for Mad-O-Wot in Bandra on weekends. She is in a lot of demand esp during weddings - grooms need to be tattooed. She is also a staunch supporter of the SHIV Ha-SENA, so most of her tattooes generally consist of lions and shivaji maharaj (in deep orange coloured paste).

6. Chu Mafatlal - Owns a ISO 2140.98 certified plastic factory in Wadala. Creates items like bags and headgear for men (read hair-bands). Used to work for Du-Point, but got kicked out due to a drinking problem - he never used to drink at company gatherings!

Wot is the connection you ask? All of them got large orders from a place in Mumbai called 'PRATEEKSHA" couple of days back...

(I HAD to write a post on this shit! As a journalism student I am a bit concerned! Wot has our media come to? Is this news? Will ANYONE respect the media anymore? I don't even wanna think about it!)

One night @ Mocha - WTF!!!

Y ON EARTH DO PEOPLE GO TO MOCHA's? Had been to Mocha's yesterday (the one @ Nirmal Lifestyle) and man am I pissed!! Shitty ambience, expensive but non-filling food and absolutely pathetic service... this is my second experience (first being the one @ Hiranandani sometime back) and yesterday's trip just confirmed my thoughts on relentless mushrooming of overpriced 'hangouts' like Mocha...

Ppl who know me know that I am NEITHER sooo poor that I can't afford the food/snacks there NOR am I someone who thinks wearing jeans is ruining Indian culture, so I hope that clears out any doubt on me being a wannabe ghati posting random rants to get my blog numbers ticking... coming back to the point, I can't seem to get over the fact that people go to such 'hangouts' in hordes and sit around on old chairs/gaddis (which look like the ones my mom threw out yesterday), surrounded by curtains (which look like they've been cut out from those marchardani nets that you get on the roadside) and smoke away 300 bucks on 'flavoured steam'!!!

So, is it that place cool u ask? Personally, I don't think so... there are 'cooler' places to hang-out and have fun than a place like Mocha where one look at the ceiling makes me feel like a plumber/electrician with all those pipes/uninsulated wires running around... Y then? India's economy is booming, the purchasing power has gone up and we have a richer middle-class?? My ***! Is the food filling? NO - @ Mocha's, exhorbitant prices is not equal to a full stomach, mind you... so, is it the 'world-class' service? HELL NO - I have been to cheaper places where the customer service is much much better that the one at Mocha's.. me thinks they recruit people only once in the entire lifetime of an outlet and don't give a shit even if the customers outnumber the staff 15:1...

So, y the hell did I goto Mocha's the second time if I wasn't happy the first time around and y am I ranting about it now? Well, for starters THIS IS MY BLOG... secondly, both the times I was almost forced to go as most of the people wanted to smoke 'hukka' and so I had to tag along... 2 reasons I think -
1. A Perceived sense of 'coolness'
2. A place where there is no one to disturb you as you slump back in the chair and endlessly keep staring at the ceiling or chatter away wid frndz without being disturbed..!

But does it have to be so over-priced? can't the place be a bit more polished? better customer service? Am I asking for too much... I dn't think so!