Hi Guys,

I've been writing 69-word, theme-based stories for the digital lifestyle magazine, The Brown Scooter, every month.

Read off and let me know what you think/feel :)


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Metallica To Play At Lalbaug

Lalbaug : Mumbai metalheads rejoice! Metallica is FINALLY coming to Mumbai. The world's most celebrated metalband is slated to perform at Lalbaug on the last day of Ganesh Chaturthi celebrations. Metallica plans to release their recent album 'Death Magnetic' during their gig here. Our sources (name changed to protect identity) confirmed that Metallica might also be looking at releasing a full length album post their performance in Mumbai; tentatively titled ‘S & M - Dwitiya' (S stands for Sarvajanik Ganeshotsav Mandal, Lalbaug) .

Mr. Patil (only surname given to protect identity), President of the Sarvajanik Ganeshotsav Mandal (SGM) at Lalbaug said, "Amhi very pleased aahe ki Mithali-Ka ikde perphorm karna aahe. I am prouds of the phact that my mandal junta has done something that even the fat guy whatshisname Wadia and Shri. Makhija could not do. Amhi sagle log phaar exicted aahe. We are thinking of printing special Mithali-Ka tshirts and bandanas for our whole team. We are also discussing the possibility of having a 'lejhim dance' bephore Mithali-Ka comes on stage. We have tied up with SapharChand Inc to setup a big, exclusive stall for selling their Amravati-phamous 'AaiPhone' (link to one of my previous posts). Jai Maharashtra. Jai Mithali-Ka"



Venkitachala radhajayasuryakamala murlitharan (he did not listen to us!) our correspondent in the US managed to catch up with James Hetfield, the lead singer of Metallica for a few sound bites. When asked about the Mumbai gig, this is what James had to say,"YEEAAHHHH. YEEEAAHHH. We are all extremely excited about our upcoming gig in Mumbai. This would be our first visit to India and you all know how much we foreigners love India or atleast pretend we do!" When asked about the playlist and rumoured album, James retorted, "YEEAAHH. We would be playing most of our famous songs but the lyrics would be changed to suit the ongoing Ganpati celebrations in India. For example, we would be playing 'One'(inspired from Johnny’s Got His Ganpati), Enter Mooshaka, The Head That Should Not Have Been, Mooshak Militia, And Modaks For All and a few other hits that relate to Lord Ganesha's life. Apart from the above-mentioned songs, the album playlist would consist of 'Call of the Vighnaharta', 'Mama Said' (with lyrics on how he was created), 'Bleeding Me' (song relating to Ganesha's state after the bathroom brawl), Unforgiven 4 (Karthikeya not forgiving his mom after the "fastest around the world" episode), 'Turn The Page' (on the Mahabharatha-writing episode) and two songs dedicated to Lord Shiva (Master Of Bhootgan) and Narada (St. Narad) respectively.

As soon as this news reached a(M) a(N) as(S) leader Aaj Phekrey, he vowed to take out a morcha to protest against band’s use of the name ‘Metallica’ without a Marathi version of the same on the flyers and their equipment.

In unrelated news, Megadeth was rumoured to be on the lookout for a big Ganpati Pandal to play some of their own chartbusters on the last day of immersion.

- By CruciFire (Not-so-Well Street Journal)

22 comments:

Satish S said...

LOL! Ingenious!

Ashwin said...

awesome dude !! :)

metal_insane said...

And MODAKS for all....hahaha....rotfl !

http://freeguitarbooks.blogspot.com/

CruciFire said...

@satis, ashwin, mi - thanks a lot folks.... :) stay metal \m/

agentx said...

YEAHHH!!....lolz dude!!.just awesome!!....

Ani said...

Yeyyah!
Fucking awesome use of parody man :P

Directionless Wanderer said...

LOL! .... great post man!! .... special LOL @ "YEAHHHHHH" - Hetfield does that every other minute :D

And some big potshots at some big political hotshots :D .... last I checked, democracy was pretty psuedo in this country and brave dissenters likely to be persecuted .... Three cheers for your brazen parodies of our political gundas but it may be inviting trouble .... not that there is a dearth of trouble as it is :D


Keep blogging .... would love to have your version on Cannibal Corpse doing a gig at Navratri in front of Lord Durga .... I can imagine the guttural, perverse cry "Jay Mata Di" :P

CruciFire said...

@ ax, ani - thanx a lot guys...

@ rajiv - thanks man! ROTFL @ the CC at durga puja idea... the lyrics wud be like... Zindagi ke SOOOOFFFAAARRRRR mein rahiiii... :D

Nandita said...

lolz Jay .. good one! .. Nandita

white_angel said...

haha..damn funnny..!!

"Mithali-Ka ikde perphorm karna aahe"

how do you come up with such things man??

Cheers, keep writing.

CruciFire said...

@ nandu - thanx sis...

@ white angel - thanx a lot dude, keep checking back...

Nikhil Narayanan said...

Too good :-)

-Nikhil

CruciFire said...

@ nikhil - thanx a lot saar

mloclam said...

Amazing stuff man.. I am a fan :D

Grey said...

That was funny ! Loved the last part ! There is no Metallica without Megadeth ..

CruciFire said...

@ mloclam - thanx a lot.... i am soo happy!

@ - glad u liked it...

Kavya said...

HHDPGM!!
keep it up! =D

CruciFire said...

@ kavya - thanx a lot gurl...

lappet! said...

hilarious! "And modaks for all" was jus too awesome!

CruciFire said...

@ lappet - thanks a lot bro... \m/

Spacegirl said...

good one bro!
i'm imagining this...
st narad round my neck.
he never gets respect!
haha!
great work
(cheers to james hathi-field>

CruciFire said...

@spacegirl - thanx a lot for the comments dear