Dhruv: Now since that’s done with it, can we please discuss the other issues? Ok, the next issue is “Was it L&T who had supplied cement to Ram & Lax Inc for the
Dhruv: Oh no not you! I should have guessed it, The Illogical Issues Man (IIM). So why exactly have you written it here?
IIM: Well dumbass, as my name says my job as a super hero IS to bring up such irrational problems and enjoy seeing people like you trying to figure out a way to solve them. You see there are a lot of other such nonsensical questions that I need answers to – Why is it that apart from the actor for whom the movie Satya was a launch vehicle, everyone else became famous and he is nowhere to be seen? Who exactly IS Digen Verma? Isn’t the Vodafone dog sick of running around tiny wooden houses every time the network decides to change its name and colour? Why are most Tamil heroines fat as hell and the heroes look like they are from Shivaji’s times? Had Mallika approached anyone to put silicon…
Dhruv (interrupting IIM): Oh c’mon, everyone knows the answer to that one.
IIM: …in her PC?
Dhruv: Ohh I thought that… ah well I don’t know and I don’t want to! I am sorry but we will HAVE to tell you to step out of the audi right now. You see, we have very critical issues on hand to resolve and we can’t afford to waste time on answering your stupid queries.
IIM: Well then, if no one wants me here I am going.
STOM: The IIM is going to leave this room, ain’t he?
Chacha Chaudhary: Please take STOM with you Mr. IIM and make it fast.
STOM: You want me to leave too, isn’t it?
Chacha Chaudhary: Just freaking LEAVE!
Dhruv: Okay last topic up for discussion – Did Van Heusen supply the war outfits to Pandavas and Kauravas? Isn’t Mahabharatha way too old to be brought up for discussion?
Person 1: Well, I am the one who put that question in the agenda.
Dhruv: YOU?! BLISTERING BARNACLES BUT HOW?
Nagraj: Well, he has a huge stake in ANUS, so as a stakeholder he has every right to ask what he wants to know from the top management. Ain’t I right, Mr. Mukesh Ambani?
MA: Yes exactly. As far as I remember, Reliance was still in the textile business then. When there WAS one reliable Indian brand in the market, I would like to know why they preferred to outsource their designer clothes to an MNC?
Dhruv: Designer clothes? Who the hell told you they wore designer clothes?
MA: Heyy, I do watch Ekta Kapoor’s Mahabharatha and anyone watching that serial can tell you that those guys used to wear designer clothes and sport tattoos. Though I am not quite sure those were original Van Heusen but what the hell!
Nagraj: TATTOOS?! Oh for heaven’s sake Mr. Ambani, that’s all Ekta’s own creation. Now don’t tell me you actually thought they used to have tattoos! You think Sapna Bhavnani’s great great great grandmother used to do it for them? You Mad-o-wot?
MA: Oh, she didn’t?
(Dhruv and Nagraj both faint.)