Hi Guys,

I've been writing 69-word, theme-based stories for the digital lifestyle magazine, The Brown Scooter, every month.

Read off and let me know what you think/feel :)


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My Contribution To U-Know-Wot

(Please DO NOT proceed if you are not comfortable with non-veg jokes/references. Am writing all of this in a half-asleep mode, so please xcuse the crude language. )


1. Kishen Dhody is a small-time tailor residing in Masjid. He also owns a small garment manufacturing unit in Karjat. His garment unit uses imported machinery (like Bapuji's Charkha) to churn out REALLY good quality clothes (last heard it was operating @ 9.5 sigma i.e 0.000000.95 defects out of a million). He is into shirts, trousers and men's innerwear.

2. Bhairavi Taraporewale is a self-employed housewife. She works for SARA-Ne-Nahi-LEE and specialises in women's undergarments (12:35 and all). Kareena kapoor, priyanka chopra, shipa shetty, kim sharma, celina jaitley, madhuri dixit, zeenat aman, tina ambani, pt usha - none of them are her clients. Her um..er... undergarments are a craze among college girls. Her creations are so famous that she herself wears them most of the time.

3. Krshna De - A rubber artist. Creates art with rubber and latex. Used to work for CEAT but lost his job when he ended up shaping some tires with dots and others with flavours. Side business - condom manufacturing under the brand name - IMAIU (I am already inside you!) Also thinking of diversifying into flavoured and dotted erasers by acquiring CAMEL-IN!!

4. Maaki Jai - Animal lover. Loves to ride horses... has around 100 of them, all on lease! Also, a very good trainer of animals in general. Teaches them about dressing right, doing various tricks and even singing. One of his most famous students goes by the name of Himesh... But his first love still remain horses - 2 of them - Sheetal and Rancho.

5. Yedi Tai - A Maharashtrian mill worker. Hobbies include Mehendi tattooing. Works for Mad-O-Wot in Bandra on weekends. She is in a lot of demand esp during weddings - grooms need to be tattooed. She is also a staunch supporter of the SHIV Ha-SENA, so most of her tattooes generally consist of lions and shivaji maharaj (in deep orange coloured paste).

6. Chu Mafatlal - Owns a ISO 2140.98 certified plastic factory in Wadala. Creates items like bags and headgear for men (read hair-bands). Used to work for Du-Point, but got kicked out due to a drinking problem - he never used to drink at company gatherings!


Wot is the connection you ask? All of them got large orders from a place in Mumbai called 'PRATEEKSHA" couple of days back...


(I HAD to write a post on this shit! As a journalism student I am a bit concerned! Wot has our media come to? Is this news? Will ANYONE respect the media anymore? I don't even wanna think about it!)

9 comments:

Dhananjay Shettigar said...

Hmm...Honestly, I dunno what to say. For the past three days, all the news channels seem to be clamouring and offering itself for exclusive service to the most high-profile wedding in Indian history (whatever that means). I am pretty sure that even the construction of the Taj Mahal wouldnt have excited people as much as the Ash-Abhi wedding. In my opninion, its a manifestation of the deeply voyeuristic culture that seems to have pervaded us Indians' lives. Though, by and large, I have stayed away from news channels for the past few days, a snippet that I managed to catch:
"Mujhe bohot khushi ho rahi hai ki mere factory ki mehendi Aishwarya ke haathon mein lagegi." This was a quote by the mehendi factory owner. The fact that some newsperson actually managed to trace the poor chap down and interviewed him on camera drove me nuts. I have had my share of entertainment for the next one week.

Surya Ragunaathan said...

I have a quiz qn too...

Connect: Abhishek bachchan and Sridevi.

Ans: CHANDNI (The horse on which Abhishek rode suring his baarat was called Chandni and Sridevi did a film by that name as the protagonist) Sources: Star News, IBN7, etc..

Hahahahahaha!! Damn cool post! I am not any more concerned about the media as a journalist...coz I know for 'sure' that its gone to the DOGS!!!

CruciFire said...

@ dhanu - thnx 4 the comments man! yeah i know about the mehendi incident, actually that was the one thing i heard that enraged me to write this post in such a short time... the media sux! BIG TIME!

@ surya - Holy shit! but i guess i shudn't be surprised after all... I am sure he got that horse from one of the person's I profiled - Maaki Jai. And thnx a lot for the praise!

neha said...

Hmmmm.. Cool Post.. just that i think the third order was placed and received much before the wedding;)
After seeing the pictures of the wedding ( which is in every person's mailbox now) i think such high profile people should be levied with extra tax!! This is a perfect example of Media & Entertainment... this is just shit!! such a waste of resources...even at a place like Tirupati: power, position and glamour has a preference over common man...This hype is so injudicious!!

CruciFire said...

@ neha - Haha cud be, cud be... actually I thnk an xtra tax wud make sense... ab kya kare, this IS the pathetic state of affairs in our country today!

Dhananjay Shettigar said...

Honestly, I dont see any sense in levying extra taxes on these celebrities. Its their freaking money and they have all the right in the world to 'burn them' (if they want to). What is needed is a concerted effort on the part of the media to stop making news out of anything and everything. But, in a country where people are obsessed with 'who wore what and where', we cant quite blame the media. Another thing, that Tirupati incident was a brazen example of power and societal position. Sigh :(

Anonymous said...

Hey Jay.. I wud have commented.. but my comments are precious.. I am thinking of selling it to some foreign channel/newspaper [:d] ... wat say?

Anonymous said...

by the way that Anonymous is me .. NI ..hehe.

CruciFire said...

@ dhanu - arre i did not actually mean the tax thing... but it sure wud be interestng...and yeah the part bout the stupid obsessions is damn right..

@ nandu - haha arre tu koi celeb nahi hai nahi toh comments ke liye shayad paise bhi mil jaate..